Stop bringing up good and bad things together with clicks in my room.
WHAT IS EVERYONE'S PROBLEM I see?
They're bothering me.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Florida & L.A.
Things are going crazy with Florida and L.A. with people who are from other areas of the U.S. and who have immersed into Europe.
What I Had for Breakfast
The usual, French toast with syrup and about 5 strips of bacon not torn apart not cooked too long. 8*
Bothered 8|
My dad is bothering me. I went out to get more toilet paper and make breakfast. He sounded like I was bad because as a kid I have wined uncontrollably but not harshly, and my mom doesn't like it, for some reason.
You know, he keeps acting like I need to "be okay" with him and you know what that means.
You know, he keeps acting like I need to "be okay" with him and you know what that means.
Dream
I was in Australia, and everyone liked me for my mom's side and not my American side. An old lady followed me into the bathroom who was fat, and I saw myself. I looked different, in a bad way. She was rubbing my stomach from down to my crotch to under my breast over and over, and it was bad. I think I imagined myself hooking around my leg as I walked out of the bathroom.
I felt I was literally pushed to the side of my bed and then down to the floor twice by a fuzzy, strong matter.
I forget, now, but some other cool things happened.
There was a reason I kept falling.
Something else happened, I think, that seemed real.
I was in the kitchen and put down something loudly yet thought it wouldn't make a noise.
I was feeling for myself, like sorry for myself, for some reason, and this happened. There was some reason I was thrusted out of my bed.
I felt I was literally pushed to the side of my bed and then down to the floor twice by a fuzzy, strong matter.
I forget, now, but some other cool things happened.
There was a reason I kept falling.
Something else happened, I think, that seemed real.
I was in the kitchen and put down something loudly yet thought it wouldn't make a noise.
I was feeling for myself, like sorry for myself, for some reason, and this happened. There was some reason I was thrusted out of my bed.
Back to Bed
I guess I'll go back to bed, get up later and have breakfast. I slept a rather lot than usual without waking up in between. I was kinda tired, yesterday. I'm sad I was mad, recently, because people take it so seriously when I do because of weird things that happened. I'm feeling kinda tired in my head, but my body feels good. I don't feel as much pressure in my female parts, at the moment.
Good Night! 3)
Good Night! 3)
Dream
It's hard to remember so much of it, but I Was in a sorta big warehouse, gray room ballet class. I guess I was performing, and it was kinda easy, kinda hard, and I was able to execute the moves, in my dream. My friend was with me. My mom came. I think my brother was in it. I guess she brought 2 kids. 1 kid was Nell Burton looking kinda like my cousin. Except her eyes were a little more detailed in the flaps (when I woke up I thought of seeing an eye with sparkle protruding from the center strongly and was like no) and her skin was pretty flushed white. She was a little sarcastic but not in a mean way. I wanted to grab her. Her nails just had a little white and were kinda rounded, a bit thick of fingers, and wide but not really wide. So, I was swinging her fingers from the front row of some theater seats. It's hard to remember what was weird about the ballet. We went somewhere.
Dream
I was at a school of some sort, and I was gonna get food, but my meal plan wasn't working. I had some money. I was looking with a really fat boy about my age at an array of sweets around a shop.
I went back and got in after awhile and there were pre-made McDonald's orders and some thin pizza orders. I wanted to get a McDonald's one with an ice cream sundae.
Also, I was supposed to withdraw from a course I apparently hadn't really been to in my dream.
I went back and got in after awhile and there were pre-made McDonald's orders and some thin pizza orders. I wanted to get a McDonald's one with an ice cream sundae.
Also, I was supposed to withdraw from a course I apparently hadn't really been to in my dream.
Being a Good Citizen
What would say constitutes being a good citizen?
I felt like I was from Florida more than others because I was.
I wish I knew adults from Florida. I just knew that my aunt's husband is from Miami, and his parents are from I think Cleveland.
I don't really hang onto and publicize my parents. I grew up most strongly as a person, with roots as a younger girl, but also with more a stake in the oldest continuing city in the U.S., which is Hispanic and not Polish I think... not English..., and the New Orleans area, where I was foreign and didn't agree and abhorred it culturally and felt bad in it anyway. I totally was different just arriving. All my accomplishment. It was just inside me. I knew I could never be the same but maybe. I guess I have a hard time connecting to Ellen DeGeneres because she's such a historical figure, and my dad isn't from the South. With Britney Spears, I simply wasn't the one. I saw a girl from New Orleans who moved to L.A. on IMDb from a long time ago. I connected with her. People in Florida don't listen to me, but I like it when I go by them and sometimes they notice me. I didn't want them to, but they do.
I felt like I was from Florida more than others because I was.
I wish I knew adults from Florida. I just knew that my aunt's husband is from Miami, and his parents are from I think Cleveland.
I don't really hang onto and publicize my parents. I grew up most strongly as a person, with roots as a younger girl, but also with more a stake in the oldest continuing city in the U.S., which is Hispanic and not Polish I think... not English..., and the New Orleans area, where I was foreign and didn't agree and abhorred it culturally and felt bad in it anyway. I totally was different just arriving. All my accomplishment. It was just inside me. I knew I could never be the same but maybe. I guess I have a hard time connecting to Ellen DeGeneres because she's such a historical figure, and my dad isn't from the South. With Britney Spears, I simply wasn't the one. I saw a girl from New Orleans who moved to L.A. on IMDb from a long time ago. I connected with her. People in Florida don't listen to me, but I like it when I go by them and sometimes they notice me. I didn't want them to, but they do.
Knocked Up
So, why were we like knocked out to take life carelessly, like to read illegal books online, listen to free music. Not know about copyright laws in music and lose opportunities.
Buy store cars. Mess up online, delete pictures just because we think there'll be more like it. Get aggressive with racist people who knew you well. Lose everyone you knew because of some mistake you did, something you did that upset your parents and made those around you uncomfortable, the same, probably...
Not use money how you need. Do activities that don't really work out and are just there as filler.
Be tricked into doing too many courses in college, like you're not good enough doing just one thing but maybe it's possible to start another.
It seems these things all stuck with me. They only got worse as I did things online, and I don't know why. I know I had problems with those around me. It was more the way other people treated me, I thought, when good things happened to me because I wasn't perfect and people were really mean to me and didn't care and it really affected me and then I couldn't let go. People didn't want me to. No one will admit it, and no one cares. That's pretty messed up.
Please don't get mad at me for cursing on my blog. I did happen to be able to mark it as adult content and, anyway, chose that. As long as it's legal. I don't really curse.
Buy store cars. Mess up online, delete pictures just because we think there'll be more like it. Get aggressive with racist people who knew you well. Lose everyone you knew because of some mistake you did, something you did that upset your parents and made those around you uncomfortable, the same, probably...
Not use money how you need. Do activities that don't really work out and are just there as filler.
Be tricked into doing too many courses in college, like you're not good enough doing just one thing but maybe it's possible to start another.
It seems these things all stuck with me. They only got worse as I did things online, and I don't know why. I know I had problems with those around me. It was more the way other people treated me, I thought, when good things happened to me because I wasn't perfect and people were really mean to me and didn't care and it really affected me and then I couldn't let go. People didn't want me to. No one will admit it, and no one cares. That's pretty messed up.
Please don't get mad at me for cursing on my blog. I did happen to be able to mark it as adult content and, anyway, chose that. As long as it's legal. I don't really curse.
Hiding Out
It's funny how people all hide and then come out and insult you.
They have problems with how well they've taken care of themselves. They need more rest but not to like totally break down how I did and not take care of themselves.
They have problems with how well they've taken care of themselves. They need more rest but not to like totally break down how I did and not take care of themselves.
Looking up to My Parents
I was connected to my mom racially and in how I was treated in life. Then, I got like the suffering of my dad.
So, I've grown up respecting families of moms who were born earlier.
So, I've grown up respecting families of moms who were born earlier.
Meeting People
Isn't it neat to meet people from different walks of life? Like not just people who are like from your area. It's also nice to know people who have a set heritage, I suppose, or one totally different from your own.
Money
I wish I just lived life as I was supposed to and wasn't too tempted by opportunity, but I was. =| And it helped me. I found out how to experience a celestial life where things seemed magic and there were magical beings and the feeling of living forever, if only I could feel right moneywise... My life still is what it is. I'm not poor, and I'm having fun. I just have to cross some barriers. I turn a corner and regret things, big things. I lose opportunities. It seems me going to college was the problem because I lost money. I was told to take a long break.
Florida and L.A.
People in Florida used to be more like the Northeast yet essentially with the roots of Californians or people from the L.A. area or L.A. itself.
And I can't fight this feeling, anymore...
I am able to feel parts of my body like the inside of my nose, like feeling energy strong enough that feels like it materialized, and arms, and legs, and female parts. However, I feel affected, like people can control or knock|tap into these feelings.
Fame! I'm gonna live forever!
The best thing about fame around the internet is that you feel that you've done what you wanted and you're not like holding out nor making others hold out for you so much.
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